Monday, May 03, 2010

After the Wedding Bells Stop Ringing

Today while I was sitting on the couch eating a pound of cheez-its and watching a Real Housewives of New Jersey Marathon I began thinking about life post marriage. Im going to admit that I'm both incredibly excited and a tiny bit scared. I can't wait to spend the rest of my Life with Mr. Coastie, I get images in my head of being 80 years old and holding hands as we cross the street ( like the little old couples at Shands hospital that i used to people watch) There are so many things I'm excited about I can't even begin to list all of them. On the Flip side I'll also admit that I'm scared, many brides including myself have heard how hard the first year of marriage is, there are books about it and even tales of women crying everyday for the first six months.... not exactly the picture I have in my head. And to add to this Mr. Coastie and I will have it especially difficult because we are spending our first year of marriage apart by a distance of 759 miles.  But despite that I know that it will be wonderful and even though there will be ups and downs we are in for an amazing life together. Funny enough after these thoughts were going through my head Id realized that I forgot to read Post Secret yesterday, one of my sunday rituals. So when i went to read it I coincidentally came across this postcard (front then back):
 This made me laugh and totally agree with the sender. Brides spend countless hours and thoughts and effort on their wedding making sure its perfect, don't you think we should put the same amount of effort into our marriages, which is really more important than the wedding? 

Mr Coastie and I have a magnet on our fridge that Aunt Coastie sent us in the mail that reads "rules for a happy marriage"
1. Never be angry at the same time
2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire
3. if one of you ahs to win an argument let it be the other one
4. if you ahve to criticize do it lovingly
5. Never bring up mistakes of the past
6.Neglect the whole world rather than one another
7. never go to sleep with an argument unsettled (which has been a relationship rule since Mr. Coastie and I started dating, i might add)
8. When you ahve done something wrong be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness.
9 At least once everyday, try to say one kind complimentary thing to your partner

I like these. Its important to remember that all relationships are work and especially marriages take hard work. While I know that its not going to be all sunshine and roses, I know the good times will outweigh the bad and Im excited for the adventure and the life that we will embark on together. 

Just some food for thought.


  1. I love this blog Rach!! Kevin and I were just talking this morning about marriage. And how some couples will go a week without talking because of a fight!! Are you kidding me? You live in the same house and your not even talking!! That is not healthy!!....

  2. Agreed! I hate fighting with Cole no matter what it is and I hate leaving things unresolved, I guess it all depends how you go into it, I guess that's why some marriages work and some don't I definitely don't see ignoring each other for a week over the fact that the laundry didn't get done is the way to have a lasting marriage!